Frequently
Asked Questions
- What is the Cult of the Eye?
- A Secret Society bent on world symbiosis!
- What is the Cult of the Eye, really?
- Part performance art, part networking
scheme, part sociological experiment in mass nonconformity...
part justification to avoid getting a real life.
- No, seriously. What is the Cult of
the Eye?
- An excuse to wear fezzes in public.
- What's with the hats?
- They keep the evil thoughts in our heads.
- They came with the tassels.
- An overwhelming sense of superiority.
- They're not hats, they're head pasties.
*twirls tassel*
- We like being asked pointless questions
by pointless people.
- They prevent the sun from burning our
bald heads.
- (Pick one... better yet, make one up
and answer your own damn questions)
- Do you guys do sacrifices?
- No, we're more of the "have our
cake and eat it too" type.
(Ya know when your teachers said there are no dumb questions...
they lied)
- How do I get me one of them nifty
hats?
- Well now, there is a good question...
First step: Join the Cult of the Eye
- How much does one of those hats cost?
- The hats are only available to members of the Cult of the Eye. Due to the
artistic integrity of the Fezmonger and the amount of
effort that goes into each hat the retail cost would
be prohibitively high. We would have to change many
details if we were to mass produce them and we simply
choose to make them something special. So if you want
a fez you will just have to earn it. Join the Cult of
the Eye now to find out how! However, if you are really just interested in getting a fez to wear check out Fez-o-rama, a company a few of our members run.
- Can girls be part of the cult?
- Yes they can! We have finally brought
the Cult of the Eye into the late 19th Century! I merely
underestimated the women's interest in wearing silly
hats. Who'da thunk it! So now there is a women's division
with their very own hats!
- Why are the girls segregated from
the boys?
- For their own safety. Actually it has
to do with aesthetics. Style is very important to the
Cult of the Eye and we don't wish to have the ladies
dressed like the men. I mean have you seen the way those
guys dress? Plus this whole thing takes its inspiration
from those organizations of the past so of course it
will have some out dated ideals. As for the everyday
reality of this group, the women are just as involved
as any of the men. It's sort of like the Navy, and the
women are our Marines. You see the Marines are really
just a division of the Navy, just don't tell a marine
that. So yeah women are part of the Cult of the Eye
but have different titles and hats. Separate but equal?...
try Separate but Superior... seriously have you seen
the way those guys dress? If you have issues with the
other gender then you need not get involved with us.
As far as we are concerned the battle of the sexes was
a pathetic television show in the 20th century... like
Manimal.
- What type of people are you looking
for?
- The Cult of the Eye is made up of creative
types in many different fields. While we do have artists,
musicians and performers -we also have programmers,
office managers and radiation techs. We are not so interested
in one's credentials as we are in one's abilities, style
and dedication. We work under the idea that great things
can be accomplished when people work together.
- How old do you have to be to join
the Cult of the Eye?
- Age is unimportant except when it comes
to state laws... we will take no responsibility for
anyone but ourselves. Therefore you must be a legal
adult, what ever that means. If not, wait until you
are. That way it gives you something to look forward
to when you turn 18.
- Do you have to live in a certain area
to join the Cult of the Eye?
- No you don't have to live near us to
become a member but it does make many aspects easier.
Most of our members live around Los Angeles or San Francisco,
what that says about those two cities I'm not sure.
There is some interest in the Seattle area with a member
or two as well as one way down deep in the heart of
Texas. You could be from anywhere as long as you choose
to make an effort to keep in touch. Many of our members
travel and are always looking for fun things to do and
cheap places to stay. Some fly all the way out here
to take part in our events or to even throw their own.
So you can be anywhere and still take part.
- Do you do weddings?
- Yes we do, but we take no responsibility
for what happens after the fantastic kickoff ceremony.
We can also do divorce ceremonies and funerals if you
find the need. Perhaps we should offer a package deal
on all three...
- Are you guys Goth? ...Swing? ...Rockabilly?
...Technophiles? ...[insert random subculture title here]?
- We embody no particular subculture, but
our members could be considered part of many various
groups. Some of our imagery and tastes lean towards
what is called "Retro" but that should be
no surprise, the whole "fraternal order of whatever"
is a pretty antiquated idea. We like the odd and unusual
and therefore we tend to embrace many genres... except
those RenFaire dorks, they piss me off.
- I've seen celebrities wearing these
fezzes. What's up with that?
- This is a competitive sport amongst the
Cult Members that combines the skill of fencing, the
nerve of skeleton and the raw power of a monster truck
pull... with one's testicles. It's called "Fezspotting"
and it is essentially a cordial ambush using a fez as
bait and a camera as tackle. We consider this a gauge
of personability and often bespeaks of a career worth
supporting. As a legal disclaimer, the celebrities depicted
may have no actual concept of the Cult of the Eye organization,
and their portrayal here in shall not be construed or
implied as an endorsement of the Cult of the Eye or
its activities. Unless we pay them to be our friends.
- I'm still not too sure I'm comfortable
with this whole "Cult of the Eye" thing...
- Look, what I've found from past
experience is that people who ask questions don't really
want to know the answers. We're not here to make you
feel more comfortable with your judgments of other people.
If you ask a guy in a silly hat a silly question you
better expect a silly answer. If your capacities for
deduction and reason are so underdeveloped that you
need to have things spelled out for you or you will
run off crying wolf then let me clear a few things up:
- Cult is a term employed
by organizations to describe other organizations...
think about it.
- Irony is a technique employed
by us in an everyday basis.
- if you feel threatened by people
in funny hats we suggest you stay away from: theme
parks, fast food restaurants, Nascar races, rodeos,
historical reenactments, military service and most
organized religions.
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